his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
