Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
When are your genitals available?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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