I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
