im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize