dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
