Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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