i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
