Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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