We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
