A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
