Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
