i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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