Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
