you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
