Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
