it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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