he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
that may or may not have been my penis.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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