love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Randomize
