Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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