its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
