but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
