You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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