what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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