I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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