so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
