I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
