I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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