Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
