Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
