i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
