i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
