Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
