you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
