WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
