5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
