that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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