hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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