Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
