You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize