real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
He felt like a one man threesome
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
