Umm I'm too high to move.
too bad you live with your parents still
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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