Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
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