whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize
