Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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