it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
