My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
