addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Also, beer. Big fan.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
