Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
