Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
