On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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