If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
