You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
