dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
