Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
