I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Randomize
