Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
