i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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