He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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