Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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