All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Randomize
