My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
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